Sunday, April 7, 2013

Its STILL winter.


        Not sure if you’ve noticed, but we haven’t posted lately. There’s a very good reason for this. It’s called WINTER. It seems our little Miamian minds cannot fathom how anyone functions in these conditions. I was prepared for bad weather. I’ve even suffered through a New Jersey winter, which is technically colder. Everyone knows England has gloomy days, but I was not prepared for the persistence of it. You know how sometimes you’ll have a few rainy days on end and you’ll think “This is a bit depressing.” Imagine if those rainy days stretched for MONTHS and it also decides to drop bellow freezing.

        At first you put up with it. After all, this is England. It is to be expected. What you don’t realize is that the grey of the skies slowly seeps into your brain, infecting it with a grey haze, darkening your outlook on everything. Its been so long since you’ve seen the sun that when you do see it, (for about two minutes it might break through) you weep like you’ve just been reunited with a lost relative. During the month of January, I did not see the sun AT ALL. February gave us an hour or two a week. The small glimpses of sun almost make it worse. For a while I kept thinking that spring must finally be here, only to be disappointed time and time again. I yelled at the weather report often. It didn’t work. I’ve now developed a dull cynicism and don’t expect any sunshine or warmth. I think this makes me officially British.

There’s nothing to be done about it. People just live in a grey haze all the time. I might be able to put up with it if we had a car and a fireplace, but we don’t. If you want to go anywhere, to work or the grocery store or church, or even to breathe fresh air for a bit, you must undergo the complicated process of layers of shirts and trousers, sweater, double socks, coat, hat, boots, gloves, and double scarves, get on your bike and hope it doesn’t snow. This makes hanging out with other humans difficult. There are people I’d like to see only a few miles away. I don’t, because it’s too much for either of us to get out in the cold to go so far. Instead, we stay inside.

Now do this every day for almost SEVEN MONTHS. Winter isn’t supposed to last this long. Normally it doesn’t. This Easter weekend was colder than anyone remembers. Seriously, there are no records of one ever being colder.

Friends try and console me with promises of some kind of summer, but I don’t trust it. How can you live more than half the year without feeling the grass under your bare feet or the sun on your shoulders? Or for that matter, feeling anything but COLD?
(This was one of the sunnier days by the way)

It’s April, and outside the window there are little white flecks floating in the wind. They’re not even proper snowflakes, they’re little balls of ice and hatred rolled in bitterness. This is not very motivating. Even now, somewhere in the middle of the last paragraph, I got discouraged, gave up and decided some time on Pinterest would make me feel better. (Only 15 minutes. Ok, a few more minutes. OK an hour.)

Winter hasn’t shut us down completely. We’ve been very busy doing exciting things. Things like:

- Growing a beard!


- Watching lots of TV! (How did Sherlock fake his death? Am I the only one glad they finally killed Andrea off the Walking dead? I totally don’t like the Doctor’s new companion, when’s River coming back? Community has totally jumped the shark.)

- Staring gloomily into the distance!




- Knitting unnecessarily complicated victorian edgings!


- Drinking lots of tea!


- Wandering into cemeteries!

- Making fun of Miami people who complain about the weather dipping into the 40’s!

 I WISH it would make it up to 48 or so.


So you see, this is why we haven’t posted. We wanted to spare you the cynicism and bitterness that overcomes us in the winter. We hope to have more exciting things to say soon, and hopefully more adventures.

Lauren

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